Start from zero
By Christopher Myers
I feel exhausted. Pooped out—and not even near the finishing line that signifies the end of so many financial encumbrances and legal issues that have bogged down and actually defined my circumstances for the past two years. It’s honest to be whipped and to admit it. One small tax victory still leaves the burdensome debts that helped me get through some of the tighter legal spots. Am I making progress, I ask myself. Yes. How do things look compared to this time last year, I ask. Substantially improved, I respond, encouraging myself. But, I’m still exhausted.
This is a feeling common to all. At one time or another, we’ve been exhausted. This is not a lack of sleep or overworking kind of exhaustion; rather it’s an exhaustion of the soul. Perhaps weariness is a better description. Weary from the day’s battles and trials. Paul says in Ephesians that we need to “Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
It seems like this is in contrast to Jesus words: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” And I believe it is in this very place of weariness where we’ve learned how to cope and to rely upon our own devices and strategies, experiences and methods instead of standing arms open wide, expecting Christ’s abundant presence.
Count the times you have ignored real peace and the seeking of a deeper meaning and focus to guide you through these tiring rough places. What have your methods of coping been? Alcohol? Anger? Justifying bad behavior? Pride? Spending?
I can answer yes to all of the above! But in this exhaustion, which has become familiar to me over these months, I see a quiet calm that assures me that all is well. It is the peace of Christ. It is not a secret place where I hide, or deny the difficulties. It is a nearby, close, abiding presence, like a hug that shows me I am where I’m supposed to be. The Spirit engages my soul to keep going. Often I am uncooperative and want to tune out.
Being real about this exhaustion with a purpose is really awesome, because the more I share my situation with those around me, the more I hear incredible stories of difficulties others have overcome and pursuits still others have not yet achieved. This is fellowship!
Fellowship is honest and raw. It’s not always filled with answers we’d necessarily like to hear, but the sweet fragrance of Christ is always present. His desire is to give us rest amidst our weary efforts and the bombardments of our day. He’s there because he loves us. Admitting weariness allows Christ to bring much needed rest.
Christopher Myers is a designer/writer/forgiven sinner and has fellowshipped with believers around the world. Faith is his passion. Email him at c.myers@me.com