God’s provision—a wonderful next season home for me and Honey.
I arrived at the next stop on the game board of my life: Oyster Cottage, Saint Simons Island. This is where I’d spend at least the next three months of my life. I was barely verbal after the fifteen-hour pack-and-move marathon. I’d left my house in Summer Haven ship shape, it’d been my stop for twelve years. The new bed was made so I didn’t have to unload the truck and go through boxes. What a mercy.
Next morning as my friends and I sipped coffee on the porch, I admired the home they offered to me. A tabby exterior featuring shells in a mortar bed traditionally made of sand and lime. James Oglethorpe who settled the colony of Georgia for the Crown of England introduced this practical indigenous building method in 1736. I half-joked that it looked like a German or Swiss had designed and built the house, because it felt and looked like a chalet, including the awesome corner fireplace inglenook.
My friends helped me unpack. Suddenly, I was gripped with fears of the future. What happens when this interim next season spot is no longer available? This worry threatened to keep me from ‘relaxing and enjoying’ the provision of this house and the special coastal environment. God reminded me of a scripture he’s used countless times to settle my being: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5&6 NIV)
Repeating that several times out loud invoked a platform of faith for me to stand on. Faith opened my eyes and pushed worry aside. Heck, I was already miraculously in the place he provided for me to be for this season of recalibration!
Settling into the cottage over the next week, friends gone, the powerful force of contentment stirred. This is what it’s like to be loved. No expectations. No limits or restrictions. No directives. Just be you, fully. I felt this joyful eruption of being loved by friends. I choked up. I allowed myself to trust God’s provision more fully by entering into the house without reservations. Worry wouldn’t get a chance to crowd out my connection with all of this.
This season, wasn’t about the supposed-to-be me, per se, it was about the loved me, the valued me and the appreciated me. The supposed-to-be me that typically obeyed expectations and cowered in self-hatred was being served notice. These emotional idiosyncrasies fouled my healthy perception of self and conspired to rob me of God’s affirmations. Settling in, the content me felt called out into the open space of vulnerable gratitude.
Just be.
I did nothing to merit or deserve this provision. God said it. It came to be. And he used my friends as his hands, feet, eyes, and ears to bring it. Thankful and overwhelmed with mercy, I simply recognized my blessing of being me, a compass, loved and valued, cherished enough to be brought to a place of recalibration. I was experiencing the practical awesomeness of God’s kingdom.
Be sure to check out Part 1 (previous post)!